Thursday, November 28, 2013

The Five People You Meet in H...avanas


As I have said in a previous post, myself and Deirdre have spent quite a bit of time over the past few months broadening our horizons and making new friends...while drunk. I am so happy to say that we've been fortunate to have met some of the most talented, hilarious and inspiring people in the world. We've decided to make a "Top 5" list, featuring the crème de la crème of our drunk friends.

Number 5: The Russian

We don't remember/can't pronounce his name but we liked the Russian because he looked like Sam Shakusky from Moonrise Kingdom.


We were also impressed that he could speak "every language in the world", according to his friend. I spoke with him in French and Dee sang him this Spanish song which she chose from her vast repertoire of Spanish songs to suit the occasion. He undoubtedly understood every word.


Number 4: Oscar

Oscar is the tortured artist from the Canary Islands that we meet pretty much every time we go out. We're not sure whether this is just a coincidence or whether he's following us. He's usually alone, drinking a glass of red wine, sporting a brown leather jacket and looking like it pains him to be in close proximity to other human beings. He has a soft spot for Dee though, and has whisked her away to dance more than once, much to my amusement! He's writing a novel, obviously. He says that it's similar to Ulysses, OBVIOUSLY. He's so modest and humble...and not at all pretentious.


Number 3: M & T <3

M & T are definitely two of our favs. We won't disclose their names here but one is named after a type of weather and the other rhymes with schmarschmino.


These beautiful Germans were the tallest boys in Havanas one cold September night, and M's dance moves impressed us from the get go. We had been feeling a bit disheartened because our hair was particularly large that evening, due to some light rain on our way to Havanas and also because the only men that had spoken to us up to that point were cow milkers from Mogeely who had their jeans rolled up past their knees....We decided that we needed to buck up, and embrace life, so we did a shot of Tequila, followed by some pretty amazing dancing. That's when M & T spotted us, obviously. The rest is history. By history I mean that neither of us remembers much...





Number 2: The legendary taxi man

Now, this is probably the only person on our list that was not inebriated when we met him, Thank God! I think I speak for both myself and Dee when I say that this taxi drive was by far, the most fun we have ever had in a vehicle, including trains. Deirdre spent the entirety of the journey to D'Island with her arms wrapped around our taxi mans shoulders, happy out. We rolled down all the windows, turned the music up as loud as it would go and with the wind in our hair, we sang David Grey's 'Sail Away' together in harmony. It was beautiful. Here's a video of it. If you're lucky, you can make out Dee and the taxi man holding hands and swaying to the music.

video

If you're wondering what the green circle on our taxi man's ear is, it's a present of a glowstick earring that we gave to him upon entering his taxi chariot.

Number 1: The Quizmaster

Our all time favourite drunk friend is the Quizmaster. We had been doing our separate rounds of the Crane Lane, business as usual, when Dee stumbled upon the Quizmaster. What a catch!! I genuinely believe that meeting him was the closest I'll ever be to having a guru. In the short time we spend with him, he taught us so much about life. He was so wise (having been the Quizmaster in the Bróg for years) and so free (he's now "barred for life" from the Bróg for various reasons). He showed us how to dance, telling us to "let our hands do whatever the f*** they want to do" and to "not give a shit about anyone else". This song came on and as we broke it down, he leaned in close to me and shouted into my ear, in his thick Cork accent, "I danced to this in INDIA". He definitely did not. I would bet a lot of money that the closest he's been to India is The Omniplex to see Slumdog Millionaire.


He also told us the secret to finding the perfect man and explained the reason for the lemon slice after a shot of Tequila whilst doing a shot of Tequila- "it makes the muscles in your throat contract so that you don't gawk". I know what you're thinking, what a legend. Part of me thinks that he may have been a Russel Brand-esque mirage...but then again both myself and Dee slapped his bum several times each, so he must have been real.

And there you have it...


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Swami Vivekananda

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